10 Aliases I Wrote On My Papers While in Upper Elementary
Back when I went to The Epiphany School of Charlotte, 75% of your grade came from putting the correct name and date on your paper. I don’t know if that’s why I did this, but I liked to put aliases on my papers. Here are 10 that are especially funny.
- e.e. cummings. As a sign of protest on a sheet about using capital letters, no less.
- Quaker the Parrot. First used on a reading comprehension sheet about quaker parrots. A Quaker is an admittedly unintimidating figure, and so is a parrot. Maybe I just liked the sound of the words.
- Boris the Spider. It was a song on a Halloween CD we had. I would always add a little doodle of a spider.
- Huevos Rancheros. Huevos rancheros is a Mexican dish involving fried eggs and refried beans, but I have no idea why I signed it as my name.
- Sammy Q. Not to be confused with model and actress Maggie Q, who is FBI agent Hannah Wells on the ABC show Designated Survivor. I sometimes hide under a blanket and portray “Sammy”, who calls people windbags (and worse). I know Sammy was from a book, but I don’t know which book. Also, I have no idea where the Q came from.
- I Whip My Hair Back and Forth. One time my teacher showed us the infamous 2010 music video for this Willow Smith song. The song’s only lyrics don’t seem like a name, but you’d find it on a lot of my papers. That’s where my parents’ good money went.
- Kwyjibo. Actually this made-up word played by Bart Simpson in a game of Scrabble in a 1990 episode of The Simpsons, defined as “a big, dumb, balding North American ape with no chin”, didn’t become an alias of mine until 2016, but it’s still funny.
- Donald Trump. This was before he ran for president and won. I found only one paper in my archives signed this, but it’s still hilarious.
- Mel Blanc. Mel Blanc was the voice of ALL the Looney Tunes characters. I don’t know why I signed this, but it made me laugh, so there you are.
- El Brujo de Oz. Spanish for “The Wizard of Oz”. Again, I have no idea.